Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
