M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
