Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
