dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
