so that wasnt chicken after all
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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