I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
