Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
