I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
