You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
