my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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