Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
