We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
