I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize