Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
