It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
