I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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