Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
