We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
