You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
