Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Houston, we have a blender
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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