Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
