Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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