doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
