This girl is more easily done than said...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
