I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
