Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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