soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
