# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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