I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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