I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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