Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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