hotel room ftw
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
