maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
