i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
