When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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