glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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