I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
