I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
