question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
