I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
