party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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