Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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