I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize