Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
