Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You can't motorboat a personality
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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