so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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