Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
