I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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