Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize