it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
