And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize