were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
