I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
