He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We are two peas in an std pod
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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