I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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