let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
