I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
