i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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