the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
